please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
