areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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