I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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