you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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