Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
