I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize