i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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