I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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