White coat. Heels.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I am available for nakedness
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
