So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
sex in a hospital.. check
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
