Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize