Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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