I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
