I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
