wat bout pragnant strippers??
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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