so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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