TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
