don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
