considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The uberlube is also flammable
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
there is puke in my bra ... again
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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