Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
