My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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