you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
