??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I looked at my own cervix.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
