Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's always time for handjobs
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
