The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We got so high we made milksteak
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
