I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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