you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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