Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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