I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
