...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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