I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
