Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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