belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
