how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
