Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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