id be glad to
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
