1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
