The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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