Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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