You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you would pick up someone in the library
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
