lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize