she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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