...so i touched it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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