We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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