he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
