Plan B is the new Plan A
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the day after is always just damage control
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
