remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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