when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
