I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Randomize
