My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
