look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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