I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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