I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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