I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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