I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
