Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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