I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
