I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
