Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
