Cold hands, warm shart.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
