You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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